A NEGATIVE autism parent

Since being diagnosed, the autism community has welcomed me with open arms and have been amazing in terms of love and support. I have met a few autistic people that are so different in their own unique and brilliant way and I have met autism parents who are equally amazing and admirable. We are mutually respectful, they know I know the struggle and I know they know the struggle. I respect that their role in autism can too be exhausting. It takes courage and strength to stand up against stigma and raise awareness for acceptance and together it is certainly something we can achieve. I raise awareness because one of the biggest problems in autism has affected me my whole life, being undiagnosed. I did not get the help I needed nor was I able to help myself but so far I have received a lot of support and encouragement. I want to thank all those people that are with me every step of the way because they understand me...they know why I do what I do. Autism in females is much harder to diagnose, this is because we generally hide it better. The diagnostic criteria is also based mainly on male traits. This leaves females like myself being underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed. Only 2 in 10 people diagnosed with autism are female. That's shocking isn't it. Obviously going undiagnosed or being misdiagnosed can happen to males but affects mainly women on a larger scale and if I hadn't worked in TV, I have very little faith that I'd have ever been diagnosed. I probably would have ended my miserable life that it was, but I stayed strong and with my support network propping me back up after each fall, I kept pursuing a seemingly endless fight for an answer. One of my close friends is an autism parent, she has been amazing, she understands me and accepts me for who I am, she has patience and at times when I have felt alone, she has been my friend and helped me. She knows it all too well.

This post is for the person (because there's always one) who wishes to challenge my diagnosis, and sadly it is usually a parent.

I'm here to tell You that you CANNOT compare me to your 6 year old autistic son!!

I am not a child! The struggles I deal with are that of an ADULT FEMALE on the spectrum! We may have similarities, we may not. Please remember I am 26 years of age. I have had a long time to develop coping mechanisms and learn to hide my traits due to constant rejection and not fitting in to society.
When you question my condition based on the differences (that you alone have determined) between me and your child, you are being invalidating and contributing to one of the biggest problems in the autistic community.

Lack of acceptance.

You want acceptance for your child but are unnaccepting of me, an autistic individual.
You are being invalidating when you say things like
"Not everybody on the spectrum finds it as easy as you" or "not everybody on the spectrum is successful".
I do not measure success by money or fame. I measure it by overcoming obstacles and getting by, facing those daily struggles and just surviving. Just because I am on television and am a business owner does NOT mean I am less autistic! You do NOT know what comes with it or what happens inside of my head. You do not see the days where I give up and completely break. You ONLY see a part of me that I allow you to see. My autism is invisible to you.

You are invalidating me every time you pass comment that I don't know 'The reality' of autism because you have created an image of me in your mind based on a socially acceptable representation of myself that is selective on media and compare it to your child. Its an unrealistic comparison. You look at me and think "You can't be THAT autistic... why? Because I am not like your child? Well how naive and ignorant are you.
I do not invalidate people on the spectrum because I have the knowledge and understanding that NO TWO people on the spectrum are the same, which means the likelihood of me and your child being alike is not a lot! Because on top of one of the fundamental aspects of our personality being autism, we have a whole personality that differs us from one another.
We might share certain traits, but do you know what my traits are? No.

I'm here to tell you,
have some more faith in your child.
You did not witness my childhood. You weren't there. You didnt see the chaos, the erratic and confusing behaviour or the meltdowns I continue to deal with.
You did not witness the suicidal behaviour during my transition into adulthood and my inability to accept that I had no identity, (or so I thought). Your autistic child will be a success in their own right. This is MY success, Do not invalidate me because of it.

Please don't try to teach me about autism as a subject in a condescending manner because you are a parent. I may have been diagnosed late, but I have been autistic MY WHOLE LIFE. I am not new to the condition. I also have an autism parent and for some reason people forget that.

Autism is stereotyped. I am not an autistic stereotype. I am here to show you how ignorant stereotyping can be, how dangerous it can be.
So STOP COMPARING ME TO YOUR CHILD IN A NEGATIVE LIGHT.
Of course were not alike! I'm a 26 year old adult female with a lot of life experience!
And each time you doubt me, you contribute to a massive problem in the autism community, being that women are misdiagnosed and underdiagnosed because of lack of understanding and stigma.

You are contributing to that stigma.

Before you form your opinion of me, do your research, if you want acceptance for your child, you yourself should start by being more accepting of others especially those who experience it personally.
I am raising awareness for the future, to fight the stigma and to help people to better understand my condition from an ADULT FEMALES INDIVIDUAL'S PERSPECTIVE because we need to improve the diagnostic criteria and make sure that it is more applicable to individuals like myself.

If more females shared their experiences it would provide more research and insight into what life is like for an autistic female and thus improving the diagnostic criteria... ultimately leading to more people getting diagnosed and receiving the help they so desperately need.

so please, whether you support me or not, I have a job to do.