Things not to say to an autistic person

If you're autistic, then you know all too well of the cringe you feel when someone says something along the lines of "we're all a little autistic" or "You don't LOOK autistic do you?"

*facepalm*

Okay, so not everybody is clued up on the subject of Autism, and the last thing I want to do is throw books containing autism facts at people's heads each time they say something that's more often than not, unintentionally offensive.

So, here are a list of things you shouldn't say to anyone who is on the spectrum, with a sarcastic undertone because apparently autistic people can't understand sarcasm; and I'm not usually this sarcastic, but it just puts emphasis on the extent of how bizarre some of the questions are. It also puts emphasis on how tiresome these things can be. 

Okay so number One... 

1) "We're all a little autistic!"

No. No we bloody well aren't. 

So why is this comment such an annoyance? Because it's invalidating. 

If everybody were a little autistic then there would be no such thing as autism. It invalidates the struggles we go though on a daily basis. Its basically saying "we all know what it feels like honey, its not that bad" 

You either are or you aren't autistic. There is no such thing as 'a little bit'. The reason behind this statement is that the similarities you share with people on the spectrum are similarities you share with other human beings in general, like feeling anxious, taking an interest in something, having a good old cry in the kitchen over bambi's mother getting shot whilst stirring your pot noodle, getting overwhelmed etc. 

Autism is much deeper than that and it has such an impact on life that it can be debilitating a lot of the time. 

Having a quirky side doesn't mean you'e autistic either. It just means you'e quirky; and quirky people are the best kind of people. 

2) "You don't look autistic?"
What it really means is "Congratulations on fitting into society and not looking like a disability" Can somebody please draw me up their stereotypical view on what an autistic person is meant to look like? Some sort of fucking mutant with big massive tentacles flying about the place? Good gracious me. Anybody can be autistic, any race, any background, height, weight, eye colour, hair colour, Freckles, no Freckles, small nostrils, flared nostrils big titties, small titties, it don't matter. Anybody can be autistic!

3) "but you have a job? An education? You can't be that autistic..."

Firstly, wow. 
A parent of an autistic child once said something along those lines to me. 
It was disappointing reflection of their lack knowledge on the subject of Autism as a whole, despite having an autistic child. But most people have been amazing, supportive and have filled me with comfort and have been very understanding. You guys are awesome. 

The spectrum is massive. Each autistic individual has different needs, face different challenges and experience their own difficulties.

Barbara might be a business woman , but can barely make a trip to the shop without questioning ones sanity. (Yep I'm referring to myself here) Overcoming the extreme mental preparation which causes high levels of anxiety stops you from functioning properly. 

Bryan on the other hand might be awesome at living independently but is completely non-verbal and can't hold down a job.

It differs from one person to the next. Nobody can understand autism more than a person on the spectrum. 

4) "I've met someone who was severely autistic compared to you."
My disabilities are invisible. Just because the're invisible doesn't mean they dont exist.

Being more aware of myself and my difficulties doesn't always make things easier either. It means I'm aware of it, it doesn't stop it from happening. 

Visibly "milder autism" means that visually to you it looks milder but inside my head it's a completely different story.
Oh, and with the education thing... you're bound to have gathered by now that I'm intelligent. 
being autistic doesn't necessarily mean you have learning difficulties. The spectrum is massive. 
Some of us do, some of us don't. 

5) "I think I'm autistic because...."
Enter stereotypical view here _______________________________
More often than not because people have anxiety, or they dont do things the conventional way like put the water in before the milk when making tea or something. It doesn't mean you'e autistic. But if you've researched autism and genuinely see yourself as autistic, great! Cause there's fuckall wrong with it and we're an awesome bunch of people. 

6) "Autistic people don't have empathy"
Yep couldn't give a flying fuck about anything. Just have no feelings. Cold heartless bitch.

Obviously that isn' true, for example. Took my dog to the vet the other day. I felt terrible knowing he needed an injection in his butt. 
Wouldn't want that to happen to me. I felt terrible for him, because I care....And don't lack empathy and all that. If my family were hurt or upset, despite my difficulty in expressing empathy and sympathy, I STILL FEEL it.

7) "what medication do you take?"
For what exactly?
Just because I think differently doesn't mean I have to be 'fixed' or treated. I don't take any medication for being autistic...Because I'm not ILL. Autism is NOT an illness. I shouldn't be suppressed, deleted, erased... it's not a disease. You can't just get some antibiotics and cure your personality. 

8) If you could cure it, would you? 
Go and cure your ignorance, seriously. Maybe I should start throwing books at people...but.... that won't get me anywhere. 

9) I've heard vaccines cause Autism, do you think this is true? 
Give me a sec..... now normally I give people the benefit of the doubt...

Long pause...












.........No.

Literally the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Being autistic is part of your personality. Take that away, you have no personality; you've literally stripped someone of their identity.

9) "You could be normal if you tried"
Could you be autistic if you tried? My point exactly.

10) you're autistic? Oh, I'm sorry. 
Sorry can you describe in detail the reasons why you're sorry? Because I'm not. Being autistic is challenging yes. It can almost seem like a curse sometimes, but it is also a blessing. 
It gives me the ability to see the world from a different perspective. The ability to see things others can't. It has made me the highly focused artist that I am. It has made me driven, ambitious, determined, hardworking, and it has allowed me to express myself in so many ways. 
I don't conform to society's norms anymore. I'm not interested in being what people want me to be. I'm interested in what I want to be, and expressing who I am. Being autistic might make things difficult for me with the social aspect of things, or overcoming daily tasks, but has it stopped me? No. 

The hardest part of Autism, is the stigma and the ignorance that surrounds it. So dont be one of those people. Educate yourself. Be patient, don't be expectant.

Accept us for our lack of social skills, our inability to carry out simple tasks due to complex thought processing. Accept us for who we are.